Diana.nu

My friend and I are planning out a protest. Or, we were supposed to, but she couldn’t make it today, so we’re gonna hammer out the details next week. I’m not angry, but now I’m anxious to go somewhere, and I’ve got nowhere to go.

The protest is actually countering another protest. 40 days for life’s protest. They’re a pro-life campaign kind of thing. Basically, they stand outside clinics with images of Jesus and signs that say things like, “Women regret their abortions!” and “Baby murderers go to hell!” or something. I don’t know. But they’re pro-life.

It’s ridiculous, so we’re going to stand next to them with signs about pro-choice. I’m expecting it to be boring, but someone’s gotta let everyone (especially the kids, yeah?) know there’s another side, and that the other side isn’t women with no respect for themselves using abortion as birth control and getting kicks out of “murdering babies.”

I’m also expecting to get angrily honked at. Though, you know, they’re honks, so I’ll just pretend that they’re enthusiastic honks.

So, I’ve been complaining a lot lately.

And you know what comes with complaining. Lots of advice! I’d appreciate an open ear more than the tense “come on, let me talk now, I have the perfect solution to your problem” looks I get when I go on too long, but all right! ~Advice~

Giving advice is a bad idea, guys. I’m guilty of simplifying things by telling people to just stop it. That’s with social responsibility type stuff. The last sentence wasn’t me excusing myself, just clarifying what I do. Someone’s eating animals, I tell them to just stop it. I am doing something wrong.

Know why? Because nothing is the same for everyone. When I tell people to just stop it, we tend to have similar… “lifestyles.” (Because I can’t think of the right word.) I know they’re capable of getting what I’m throwing at them, and I assume they have the means to do something if they really wanted to.

Did you catch the problem! It was assuming they have the means to do something if they really (somehow feels guilt-trippy) wanted to. It’s wrong. I’m going to stop it. I get why it’s wrong now. Thank you, complaining.

Not everyone has the same means, obviously. If there were a kid eating a hamburger in a restaurant, I’d get angry, yeah. If I knew the kid hadn’t eaten in days, and 99¢ hamburgers were the only thing he could afford, I wouldn’t tell him, “Hey, kid! Stop eating animals!” As bad as it all is, I should know that he’s got other things to worry about. Worrying about things outside yourself is a privilege.

But I shouldn’t have to know that. I shouldn’t assume he’s got it as good as me.

This relates to the advice I’ve gotten from people because of complaining. I’ve been saying, “Yeah, okay” and “True” to the advice. Really, I feel kind of insulted. If I complain about something like, “Goddamn it, there’s nothing to take as lunch to school,” I don’t want to hear, “Just grab some bread and peanut butter, make yourself a sandwich, get a banana, and maybe some cashews.” Yeah, okay. Except I don’t have bread at the moment. Well, then, Diana, do you have tortillas? You could just make yourself a bean burrito or something.

Maybe I do have tortillas. Maybe I don’t, and maybe I’ll tell you I don’t, and maybe you’ll do another, “Well, if that’s the case, you should just…” But I’d really like it if the person giving the advice realized I wasn’t asking for advice.

I know better what’s going on with me than anyone, and whatever could fix the situation(s) if they happened to come up for someone else might not work for me. I don’t want to hear it. (Sometimes, I do, and then, I’ll ask for it.)

It’s obnoxious, if nothing else. One solution does not fit everyone, and actually, really, truly, telling them to apply it to themselves shows how privileged you are. I don’t know how other people feel about this, but I don’t like showing off privilege. It’s inconsiderate. So, my point is: Giving unwarranted advice is showing people how pathetically unaware you are. And that’s it!

I didn’t get the job.

Last night, the woman called me, and said I have more growth in other industries or something. Making me so angry.

There was nothing relevant to put in my resume, so I put web development stuff and made it relate (bad idea). But I told her that I don’t want to do web development anymore. It’s dead. It’s over. Bye.

But she shooed me away because I happen to have experience in something I don’t want to do anymore.

Everyone I know is telling me the same thing, too. Diana, you can do it. Diana, it’s the future. I think it might be impressive that I know HTML and CSS and PHP, but only to people who don’t know them.

It takes more than that to get a job, friends. I don’t know a lot of JavaScript to be a front-end developer, and I don’t know OOP to be a back-end developer, and I don’t have the creativity to design as a job.

And no more learning, please. I’m tired already, and I imagine I’d only get more tired trying to keep up in the industry. No más. I just want an office job where I can use general skills and not be stressed out.

So, I guess I give up. I’m going for front-end developer jobs, making it clear what I can or can’t do. Sigh, you know?